Wow, things escalated quickly in the past two weeks. How are you?
Are you staying at home because your hours have been reduced? Are you working from home? Or do you have no choice but to go to work every day?
What’s your living situation like right now? Do you live alone? Are you living with your parents, your partner, or roommates? Are you still able to have your own privacy? Or do you feel that you have too much privacy, and you are craving some social contact?
This is a stressful time for us: loss of income, social distancing, feeling stuck, limited access to the outside world (like shops and other businesses), anxiety related to illnesses, worries about the health of loved ones, and shortages in food and supplies.
What makes this even more challenging is that there is no end in sight.
It seems like we have zero control over what is going to happen – and the truth is, to a great extent we (as individuals) have limited control over how this pandemic is going to evolve. If we work together, however, we will be able to overcome this. But that’s a topic of discussion for another time.
Similar to every other challenge in life, no matter how dire the situation may seem, there are still things that are within our control. And we just have to figure out what those things are.
This is the Personal Power Grid, which I use with my clients when they are dealing with life challenges.
For every situation, there are elements that are within our control, and elements that are not. For those that are within our control, the logical step is to take actions and figure out how to make the situation better (ie: “Mastering”). For things that we have no control over, we need to be able to let go and accept the fact that no matter how much time and energy we spend on the matter, we can’t change what is going to happen (ie: “Letting go”).
The Personal Power Grid does not take away the chaos, but it helps us organize the chaos a little better, which then relieves some of the overwhelming feeling. So let’s do this together – let’s figure out what is within our control in this pandemic, and what is not. We can then come up with a course of action to focus on things that are within our control. Similarly, we can brainstorm ideas to help us let go of things that are not within our control.
Step 1: What is within your control?
Your actions in response to COVID-19
Activities you engage in at home
You reactions (e.g., problem solving)
News/ social media content that you are exposed to
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle
Taking care of your mental health
Step 2: What is not within your control?
Others’ actions and whether they are following the recommended guidelines
The duration of this pandemic
What people say or post online
Inability to see friends and family (in-person)
The stats (number of new cases; number of deaths)
Having to put life on pause (including postponing or cancelling important events)
Government response
Whether the shelves are restocked in grocery stores
Step 3: Mastering - Actions to take
Now that you know what is within your control, take actions that will help keep you safe:
Stay home if you can
Decline visitors
Practice good hygiene
Continue to connect with loved ones via the internet and telephone
Interact with people you are living with and do something fun with them at home
Check in with your therapist
Follow public health recommendations
Un-follow social media accounts and news that trigger anxiety
Maintain healthy habits (e.g., eating well, exercising)
Be creative about the activities to engage in at home
Take actions that align with your values
Budget planning if finances is an issue due to loss of income
Come up with a plan to avoid depleting food and supplies
Have a backup plan if food and supplies run out
Step 4: Letting Go - Acceptance of things that are beyond our control
Our anxiety fluctuates throughout the day. Sometimes, we can feel its presence, and it is uncomfortable, but we are still able to function. Other times, it becomes so overwhelming that it is difficult to engage in daily tasks.
*Check out my previous post on strategies for coping with anxiety. However, keep in mind that it was written before we started enforcing social distancing. Therefore, some of the tips might no longer be appropriate*
When anxiety feels overwhelming – to the extent where you can’t make sound decisions or concentrate on anything – here are some activities that you can do to help you be more present (remember, we are usually experiencing our past or future when anxiety strikes, instead of the here and now):
Move your body
Take a shower
Give yourself a massage
Plug in your oil diffuser
Light a candle
Make yourself a cup of tea
Have a snack
Listen to soothing music or natural sounds (Youtube and Spotify provides a wide variety of options)
Practice Grounding exercises *Click here for my previous post on grounding exercises
Alternatively, when the anxiety is there but you still feel in control:
Focus on what you can control (go back to Step 3)
Acknowledge and express your emotions (cry, tell someone how you feel, write out your worries)
Remind yourself that you are not alone in this, and that there are other people who are probably feeling the same way
Seek support – talk to a trusted friend about your fears and worries
Connect with your therapist
Remind yourself that nothing is constant in this world, except for change. Therefore, this is gong to pass eventually
Remind yourself that you’ve been through difficult times in the past, when everything felt out of control. Yet, you were able to survive those times. This is just another challenge in life and you will get through this
Stay present – check in with your senses: what are you experiencing at this moment?
Spend time with animals (they are very good at staying present)
Use distractions – watch comedies or listen to podcasts
Hope these tips help! Please do not hesitate to reach out if you need support during this difficult time.