When was the last time you felt overwhelmed with intense emotions? Did it feel like your brain was hijacked and all of a sudden, you were unable to think clearly or make good decisions?
When we are in fight or flight mode, or when we feel extremely angry or down, it is difficult to stay rational. Our ability to make sound decisions is compromised, and that is because our pre-frontal cortex – the part of our brain that is responsible for higher-order mental processes (e.g., decision making, inhibition) – shuts down when we are emotionally aroused. It means at that point in time, making sense of new information and processing our thoughts are too cognitively demanding. We are no longer able to evaluate our thoughts and gain access to our core beliefs.
The only way to change how we feel when we are overwhelmed is through our body. Instead of working on our thoughts (which sometimes leads to changes in our emotions), we work on our body – which also leads to changes in our emotions. Working on our thoughts would be futile at that moment because our brain does not have the capacity to assess the higher-order cognitive processes.
For clients that have difficulty with regulating their emotions (whether it is depression, anxiety or anger), I always suggest that they practice “grounding” when they are overwhelmed. Grounding exercises consist of two parts: checking in with your body, and paying attention to your immediate environment. Both methods allow you to return to the “here and now” (instead of the past or future which likely fueled the emotional storm), thereby de-escalating your emotional arousal.
Our bodily sensations and immediate environment are much more accessible, and that is something that we can attune to even when we feel overwhelmed. Tapping into our bodily sensations is less cognitively demanding, when compared to self-reflections and attempts to modify our thoughts.
As mentioned in the previous post, grounding is great way to gain distance from your thoughts and emotions. Instead of being sucked into the tornado of intense emotions, grounding allows you to detach yourself from the cycle of emotions. Attention is a limited resource. It means that when we pay attention to one particular thought or object, there is less attention available for other things. Therefore, you are less able to pay attention to the troubling thoughts in your mind if you focus your attention on something else.
Part 1: Access your senses and pay attention to your immediate environment
When practicing grounding exercises, ask yourself what you are experiencing in each of you senses:
Part 2: Check in with your body
Check in with different parts of your body and notice different sensations that you might be feeling. How does your neck feel? Try stretching or rotating it. Do you notice any tension? What about your shoulders and back? Are they supported against your chair? Do you feel the bottom of your feet and your toes? If you have difficulty identifying the sensations in different parts of your body, move them around or wiggle them. Contract the muscles in the area then relax them. If pain or tension arises, notice them and try to relax that part of your body. Instead of reacting to the awareness of the pain, understand that it is part of your experience at this moment. Try to let go of the urge to resist the pain.
Sometimes, it is helpful to visualize and imagine yourself as a tree, with roots growing into the ground. The longer and deeper these roots grow, the more stable and unmovable you are. Place both feet flat on the ground. Feel the pressure, and imagine roots growing from underneath. This may sound funny, but it helps create a sense of stillness and stability. Continue to breathe while doing this exercise. Feel the weight of your body sinking into your seat or into the ground. Allow gravity to pull you towards the centre of the earth. You are fully supported.
Remind yourself that you are strong and nothing can move you.
How do you feel now? Sometimes, worrying thoughts might interrupt your grounding exercises. Notice them, and gently bring your attention back to your bodily sensations.
Understand that being distracted is completely normal. Our brain is used to “multi-tasking” (I call it “being easily distracted”). We are often encouraged to multitask, so much so that it has become quite impossible to pay attention to only one thing at a time, which is why it is challenging to engage in grounding exercises and to practice mindfulness in general. But that’s okay, you are learning. This is a new habit that you are building and therefore expect failure initially. I can assure you that you would get better at it with practice.
Here are more ideas for grounding when you feel emotionally overwhelmed. These activities will pull your attention from the cycle of thoughts to your immediate experiences:
Splash cold water on your face
Drink a hot cup of tea
Wrap blankets around you
Pet your dog/cat/child
Take a warm bath
Take 10 slow breaths while counting them out loud
Open the window or step outside and feel the outside temperature
Walk around, notice each step you take. Pay attention to the bottom of your feet. Notice the pressure and the weight that each step places on the ground.
Squeeze a stress ball
Brush something soft against your face: cotton balls; feather; a pillow
Play your favourite song and listen closely to the lyrics
Apply some body lotion to your palm and give yourself a massage
Use your diffuser (if you have one) and add a few drops of your favourite essential oil
Taste something. Pay close attention to the taste and texture of the food. You can try something sweet or sour, like a chocolate, raisin or a lemon.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed easily, collect materials that you need for grounding in a box so that these materials (stress ball; rocks; box of candies; feather; list of activities) are easily accessible when you need them. Put the box somewhere visible and label it clearly, so that when you are emotionally overwhelmed next time, it will catch your attention and you will know what to do without having to intentionally recall strategies that you’ve learned.