Have you ever experienced sudden mood change?
One minute you feel hopeful and positive, the next you feel desperate and alone. Most of the time this happens so quickly and automatically that it’s difficult to catch it when the switch occurs.
If you pay attention, however, you might be able to recall and observe your experiences moment by moment. You might notice what caused the change. Maybe it’s an email, a comment someone made, or maybe it’s something you saw on social media. Sometimes, it could be triggered by one simple thought, and before you know it, your thoughts start spiraling.
When you look closely at your thoughts, you might start to notice certain patterns. Negative thought patterns tend to carry the same themes:
Worrying about the future (e.g., career, relationships, health); or
Ruminating about the past (e.g., past mistakes, others’ criticism, regrets)
Sometimes, one worry leads to another, and it keeps going. Again, this process happens so quickly that it is difficult to stop unless you catch yourself. It’s like a frequently travelled route - you don’t necessarily have to pay attention to the turns or street names, and you will find yourself arriving at your destination effortlessly. This is similar to familiar negative thought patterns: all you need is a trigger, then BAM, you will find yourself stuck in the same emotional state involving hopelessness, depression, anxiety, guilt and self-dislike.
“Neurons that fire together, wire together” - Donald Hebb
This describes how habitual negative thinking makes it so that it becomes easier for us to access the same negative thought over time. Whenever we think a thought, a group of neurons (nerve cells) in our brain are activated. Together, they form a circuit (“neural pathway”). The same group of neurons that are involved in this circuit/pathway will fire together again the next time you have the same thought. When these neurons fire together, their connection with one another strengthens so that the next time one of the neurons in this “pathway” is activated, the other neurons in the same pathway are more likely to fire as well.
To put it in layman terms: the more we think a thought, the more accessible that thought becomes, and the easier it is for that thought to come to mind. It's like a habit that becomes harder to break. Other thoughts of similar nature become more accessible as well.
So what happens when we have frequent, negative thoughts? These negative thoughts become more and more accessible and habitual, and soon you would develop a pattern of negative thinking. You start looking at things through a grey lens.
The logical solution to this problem would be to stop thinking negative thoughts, right?
Wrong.
Unfortunately, the more we try to stop or control a particular thought, the stronger it gets. There is no way for us to stop a thought per se.
Let’s try a thought experiment: If I tell you, for the next 30 seconds, you can think of anything but a pink elephant. No matter what you do, DO NOT think of the pink elephant. What’s going to happen? How long are you able to avoid it? Less than five seconds?
This is because deliberate attempts to avoid certain thoughts make them more likely to surface.
This is why it doesn’t work when you try to avoid a thought, because now all you can think of is the unwanted thought. So what is the solution, if we can’t technically stop a negative thought?
There are generally 2 approaches:
Today, I will focus on bottom-up approaches, and I will address top-down approaches in my next post.
Most of the time, the end result of spiraling (or snowballing of our thoughts) is that we become stuck in an emotional turmoil. We might feel overwhelmed, hopeless, agitated, sad, and anxious. We sometimes freeze because we are stuck, not knowing what to do with the emotions. Other times, we become agitated and restless. Either way, the alarm system in our survival brain will begin to send warning signals, indicating that a threat is imminent. Intense emotions hijack our reasoning brain, and using cognitive approaches (i.e., top down approaches) might not work because we don’t have the mental capacity for higher-order thinking (e.g., logical reasoning). Our thinking brain has shut down and is now offline. These are the times when a bottom-up approach is helpful. Whether it is working with our senses/body, or distracting ourselves from the thoughts by engaging in an activity, we want our attention to be drawn elsewhere, away from the growing snowball.
Leave the situation
If it is clear that your thoughts were triggered by the environment/situation that you’re in, leave. A change in scenery might alter how you feel. Sometime our thoughts are triggered by who we are surrounded with, and leaving those people could ease the negativity we feel.
Practice being present by grounding
I’ve talked about grounding a lot in my previous posts. Click here if you want to read further about grounding techniques.
The purpose of grounding exercises is to bring your attention to the present, the here and now. We can’t change the past, nor predict the future. The here and now is the only moment that we have full control over, and it is also what pulls us away from the spiraling. It helps us put a brake on the snowballing thoughts. The here and now is best experienced through our senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste), and also our surroundings (e.g., colour of your chair, texture of your desk). Focus on how your weight is supported by your chair and the earth. Allow yourself to relax and be fully supported by gravity.
Being mindful and aware of the tension within your body
In addition to grounding, you can turn your attention inward, and check in with different parts of your body. Notice how the thoughts changed how you feel within your body. Do you feel your shoulders and jaws tightening? Do you feel your brows furrowing? Are you clenching your teeth? What about your airway and chest area, are you breathing quicker and feeling some heaviness in your chest? These are all normal reactions to threats. Even when there are no actual threats that we can perceive in our immediate environment, our brain could still activate physiological reactions as long as its alarm system is going off. These reactions are automatic, and are managed by our sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for fight-flight-freeze responses.
Having this realization and awareness is the first step of getting out of this automatic response.
Relieve discomfort in your body
Remind yourself to relax.
Whether it’s smoothing out your forehead, intentionally relaxing your brows, actively releasing the tension in your body, or putting a comforting hand on your chest – these are all great ways to communicate to your brain that everything is okay and there is no real threat.
Here are more strategies that you can try:
- Make yourself a warm drink
- Mindful breathing
- Get some fresh air
- Give yourself a hug or massage
- Splash some cold water on your face
- Take a warm bath
- Do stretches
- Walk barefoot on the ground
Distractions
We have a finite supply of attention. It is impossible to pay 100% of our attention to two tasks simultaneously, which is why distraction works when dealing with unwanted thoughts.
Play some music, watch a comedy, listen to a podcast. Better yet, push yourself to interact with somebody you trust that is supportive. It might be contrary to what you want to do when you feel overwhelmed, so it’s okay if you need some time alone. But if you feel up to it, having someone else next to you might pull a lot of your attention away from your distressing thoughts. Social connection with the right individuals is often therapeutic. The person you reach out to might be able to validate your feelings. Often, the common humanity shared among us helps us feel less alone in our suffering. Reach out to your furry pal if you have a pet. Go on a walk with them, cuddle with them or hug them. Physical touch also helps ground us. Moreover, physical touch leads to the release of oxytocin in our body, which is linked to positive emotional state (happiness and calm).
Another strategy is to stay active. When you find yourself stuck in a negative thought cycle, engaging in a physical activity releases dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. These brain chemicals regulate our mood and enhance our sense of wellbeing and positivity.
There are many more bottom-up approaches that could be helpful. Working with a therapist allows you to explore and experiment with different strategies. Contact me here to schedule a free telephone consultation if you are considering counselling.
Next, let’s explore top-down approaches that allow us to examine our thoughts and their impact on our emotions.