Wow, I can’t believe we are already halfway through the first month of 2020 – how are you doing? If you did set New Year’s resolutions, how is your progress so far?
If your motivation is going strong, and you are making progress, GREAT WORK! But if you find yourself losing the momentum and determination that you had at the beginning of the year, that’s alright. In fact, research has shown that a large number of people give up their new year’s goals by February, and it could lead to a ton of disappointment and self-doubt.
The question remains: is it beneficial for us to set New Year’s resolutions? Does a new year (or a new decade) warrant new beginnings? Do you have to do the same and “start fresh”, just because it appears that everyone else is doing it?
Not necessarily. It really depends on your individual needs and personality.
Some people thrive on social pressure. Seeing others setting goals tends to make them more motivated to try new things, and maybe to set similar goals. They might be more likely to succeed if they know that they are not alone in pursuing their goals. To some, a new year is a “fresh start”, and that is a great reason to start and maintain new habits.
However, the pressure of having to make changes because it is a “new year” could be overwhelming – somehow there is a sense of urgency and a strict timeline attached to the idea. Failing to achieve your goals is discouraging and frustrating, more so when it happens early on in the year. It gets worse when you start comparing yourself to others (“Jenny seems to be right on track with her diet, whereas I have been eating junk food”). To be honest, goal setting and forming new habits could happen any time. It could happen right now if you want. It’s never too late. Not having that “I must” or “I should” mindset, the competition, and the pressure to succeed often times make it more likely that you would achieve your goals. Besides, it’s better to do things on your terms, instead of following the herd.
Nonetheless, whether you want to set goals now or in the future, there are strategies that would increase your chance of success. Here are a few tips on how:
1) Do your goals align with your values?
When choosing your goals, it is important to think about how they are related to your values. Which aspect(s) of your life do you want to change? Why do you want change? Why does it matter? For instance, if your goal is to lose weight, ask yourself why this goal is important to you, and how does losing weight contribute to your values or give meaning to your life. Could it be that you have been feeling fatigued, and losing the extra weight would increase your productivity? When your goals align with your values, your chance of success increases significantly because these goals matter to you at a deeper level (given that they reflect your personal values). You will also be more motivated to make changes when you see meaning behind what you’re doing. Values provide purpose to our lives.
2) Find a buddy that is also working towards the same goal
It is much easier to motivate yourself to make changes when you are doing it with a companion, because you would have someone to hold you accountable. You can check in with each other and commit to the same goal together. You can work together to plan and strategize ways to help you achieve your goal. When you feel unmotivated, you can turn to each other for motivation.
3) Define your goals
Goals that are well defined are much easier to achieve than ones that are vague and abstract. For instance, let’s say your goal is to lead a healthier lifestyle. How do you turn it into something concrete? What does “being more healthy” mean to you? Are you referring to eating habits? Activity level? Quality of sleep? Or your mental health? Once you’ve decided what the goal entails, you can go onto the next step.
4) Set measurable goals
Make sure that your goals are measurable. It makes it easier to track your progress. Quantify your goals. For example, the goal of “being more active” can be translated to “number of days in a week when you would be active”.
5) Set yourself up for success by starting with small attainable goals
Plan ahead and break your goal into smaller ones that will eventually lead you to your ultimate goal. What would you need to do in order to achieve your goal? Can you break it down into smaller steps? Once you have planned out the details, as well as a timeline that you would be following, take it one step at a time. It is much easier to focus on one small goal, than a big one that involves several steps. You are also setting yourself up for success when your immediate goals are small, which will boost your overall morale. Sense of failure generally reduces our motivation. For example, if you aim to cook more frequently at home, start by cooking once a week (instead of aiming for cooking 5 days a week).
6) Proceed slowly and transform gradually, it’s more likely to stick
Similarly, when you start with small attainable goals, you are making small changes instead of drastic ones. We are inherently adverse to change (even if we know it’s good for us), which is why it is better to “trick” ourselves into making major changes by taking it slow and achieving small goals one at a time. This is the same idea as starting with small attainable goals. Another example: if your goal is to be kind to others, start with perhaps making small donations, then slowly proceed towards something that requires more commitment and is more action-based, such as volunteering at your local shelter.
7) Anticipate failure, and accept yourself for failing
We are not perfect, and therefore when we intentionally make changes in our lives, chances are we won’t succeed on the first try. Having that mental preparation definitely buffers the disappointment when we do fail. If you find yourself falling off the wagon, be gentle with yourself. Failure is part of life. You don’t have to give up completely when you fail. It is also okay if you need to take a break for a few days. Pick yourself up afterwards and try again. “Two step forward, one step back” is completely normal. It is part of the process of change. Linear changes are usually unrealistic and temporary.
8) Be flexible
Being flexible is so crucial to our success. It means accepting yourself for failing. It also means understanding that you are constantly changing, and therefore your goals naturally change as well. Always check in with yourself to see whether your goals align with your values and sense of purpose. Sometimes, we lose motivation because the goal that we are pursuing no longer appeals to us/ is less meaningful to us, and that is completely okay. We can decide to stop pursuing a goal anytime we want, once we deem that it is no longer enriching our lives.
9) Keep your stress levels to a minimum
Managing stress is always a priority. Setting and pursuing goals is usually something we do outside of our daily obligations. It takes extra time, attention and effort out of our day. If we are already burning out from school/work, or daily engagements, chances are we won’t have the time and energy to pursue something else. Maybe this is a sign that it is not a good time to add more things to our plate. Unless if your goal is related to your overall wellbeing, such as sleeping more, or getting better at managing stress, then it makes sense to prioritize your goal to reduce burn out.
10) Celebrate your milestones by rewarding yourself
Part of the fun of pursing goals is the rewards. Rewards often times reinforce good behaviours. So make sure that you throw in rewards whenever you reach a milestone. Rewards serve as something for you to look forward to, and they help you through the rough patches of behavioural change. In terms of the type of rewards to consider, there are no rules to it. Get creative, tailor to your individual desires. Just make sure that the rewards won’t set you back or derail you from your progress. For instance, if you are trying to lose weight, stay away from using food as your reward.