Heya!
How are you? It’s been a few weeks since we were advised to stay home unless if it is necessary to go out. How have you been adjusting to spending the extra time at home?
Staying home is challenging. All of a sudden, your partner/roommates are there 24/7 and little quirks about them that you didn’t notice before somehow become unbearable. You might be glad that you get to spend more time with your loved ones, but sometimes, you just wish that they could leave you alone for 30 minutes. All you have for entertainment is the internet, television, books, and maybe board games. There are some virtual tours or performances that you can enjoy at home, but even that could lose its appeal. You can’t go to the gym, shop at the mall, or catch a movie at the theatre. Soon, you’re going to run out of books/magazines to read. We’re lucky that technology is so advanced that we can pretty much order anything online and they will be delivered to our doorstep. But still, we’re stuck in the same environment day after day, and apparently this could last until June/July.
You might be feeling more fatigued than normal. You might also be unmotivated, but at the same time, you feel that you should be productive. You might feel restless, but you don’t know what to do with the energy and time on your hands. The weather is getting nicer, and it’s ironic that we have to stay home after months of winter.
I know that we are hesitant about complaining about boredom. You might think:
At least I have the option to stay home;
At least I’m not being exposed (to the virus) due to my job;
At least I still have a job;
Being bored right now is a privilege
To some extent, we should be hesitant about complaining about boredom. It allows us to be a better human being. It means that we are cognizant of others’ suffering.
However, it does not mean that you “shouldn’t” feel bored, or that you are selfish for feeling bored. Yes, there are people who are worse off, but that does not mean that we have to be happy about our current situation. It’s okay to complain (just make sure you complain to the right person) and to feel bored.
The reality is, we’re all thrown into a bad situation. Some people have it better, others have it worse. I read somewhere on the internet that we’re all thrown into the same storm in this pandemic, but we are in different boats. Some boats are stronger and offer more protection, others are less stable.
And that is true. We are in this together, but we are enduring different degrees of suffering. We should be aware of others’ misfortunes. But, it does not mean that our unhappiness is invalid.
If you feel bored, your job is to figure out how to manage this boredom, instead of feeling guilty about feeling bored:
Structure your day
Our job used to structure our day. Now that we’re home all the time, that structure might have disappeared. But, that doesn’t mean that we can’t have a routine. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. After you wake up, make your bed, brush your teeth and wash your face. Yes, it is still important to maintain good habits. Always change out of your pajamas – unless if you have decided to take the day off and to stay cozy in your PJs. Changing into a different outfit alters your state of mind. It helps our brain understand that it’s time to be serious and get to work. If you don’t have a home office, set up a work station in a corner of your home. Make your working area as appealing as you can. Put up photos, plants, or motivation quotes - whatever helps you focus. Make the area as inviting as you can, so that once you sit down at your work station, your brain is conditioned to work. Have lunch at the same time each day. Try to maintain the same routine as if you are still going to work. Continue to exercise regularly, and schedule time for relaxation. Humans need routine and structure. Just because you no longer go to work doesn’t mean that your routines get thrown out the window. With a routine, you will be able to maintain a lifestyle that continues to be aligned with your goals and purpose.
Stay connected with your friends and family
I cannot stress the importance of social connection. In addition to the need for routines, humans also need social connection. Don’t just rely on social media for social connection. Call, text or Skype with friends and family. Maybe set up regular virtual hangouts with them. You can also schedule virtual lunches/dinners, or cooking sessions. We need to be creative about how we spend our time. Virtual hangouts are not the same as having your loved ones in the same room as you, but hearing their voices and seeing their faces on a screen does make social distancing better.
Goals and Values
Thirdly, just because it feels like life is placed on pause, doesn’t mean that everything has to actually pause. Time is still passing by. So, for the goals that you have set for yourself in the past, how can you continue to achieve those goals? It might require you to be flexible and creative. For instance, my goal was to complete a 10 K run this spring, and that obviously has been cancelled. I have a few options – I can still run outside, provided that I keep a safe distance from others. Or, I can adapt my goal to something more realistic (e.g., exercise at home at least 5 days a week).
If you don’t have a goal, it helps to examine your values. What values have been important to your sense of self? Can you set goals that align with those values? If it is important for you to be physically strong, just because the gym is closed doesn’t mean that you are going to stop exercising. There are so many free resources out there on a daily basis. If you value being a good friend, what can you do at this time? Check in with your friends regularly. Do they need food or supplies? How are they mentally? Make sure that they know you’re thinking about them.
“I wish I had more time..”
Finally, reflect on the past few years. Think back to the times when you wished you had more time for something.
“I wish I had more time to read”
“I wish I had more time for my dog/ my kids”
“I wish I had more time to cook/ bake”
“I wish I had time to work on that puzzle that’s been sitting on my shelf”
“I wish I had the time to organize my closet”.
Well guess what? Now is the perfect time for you to do all those things that you wished you had the time for!
It is okay to feel bored and to complain that you are bored. Just pick your audience wisely. At the same time, remember that there are people who are worse off and we are privileged to have the option to stay home or to work from home. But again, that does not mean that you should feel perfectly fulfilled right now, or that you should feel guilty about having negative emotions associated with this pandemic.
Hope these tips helped! If you have more tips on how to deal with boredom, do share them with us. As always, please do not hesitate to reach out if you need support during this difficult time.
Click here for my previous post on coping with anxiety associated with the unknown.