How are you feeling with the holidays coming up?
The last two weeks of the year is an exciting time to some – gatherings with loved ones, gift exchange, feasts, celebrations and cozy decorations.
To many, however, the holidays could be a stressful time.
Traditions and expectations tend to lead to stress.
It could be a particularly difficult time when loved ones are no longer here with us.
We are also in the middle of a pandemic, which makes the holidays even more challenging. With the newly implemented restrictions, we might no longer be able to partake in our traditions this year - family members can no longer visit from abroad; activities that we do every year might not be available.
Therefore, it’s completely okay if you don’t feel any joy or happiness in this holiday season.
In fact, many people are feeling down this year.
You are not alone.
If you find yourself struggling more than usual this holiday season, this article is for you. We will be exploring ways to help you manage the holiday stress during the COVID-19 pandemic. Here is a summary of what we’ll be covering today:
Setting boundaries
Checking in with yourself
Managing expectations
Focusing on what you can do
Checking in with others
Setting boundaries
Boundary setting is particularly important this year. There are going to be people who decide to ignore the regulations, and you might be invited to parties or large gatherings.
It could be challenging to decline invitations.
However, the consequences of not being assertive are much more serious this year.
Here are some phrases that you can use to help you decline invitations.
You might worry about others’ judgment, but, the ultimate question you need to ask yourself is: what is the right thing to do for you?
What would happen if you go? How would you feel as you anticipate the event? How much time would you be spending feeling stressed out/ worried? How would you feel during and after meeting these people? What are the consequences? Who are you going to affect?
Also ask yourself how you would feel if you decide not to go. How would the isolation impact your mental health? What can you do to mitigate the harm?
Do what’s best for yourself and your loved ones.
Checking in with yourself
It’s okay to acknowledge the negative emotions you are feeling.
Whether it’s sadness, anxiety or hopelessness. Name the emotion.
Express the sense of loss you feel. Use this time to process your feelings, instead of sweeping them under the rug.
If you are grieving because of the loss of a loved one, give yourself the space and time to grieve. Write them a letter, tell them how much you miss them, and how this year is different without them. Have a good cry if you need to.
Allow yourself to express your emotions while practicing self-care, which includes a healthy diet, good sleep, and sufficient exercise.
Monitor your emotions – we have all been affected by the pandemic – take the time to understand how it has affected you.
Are you feeling more stressed because much more “planning ahead” is required when it comes to gift-giving? How is it affecting your mood?
Do you feel isolated knowing that you won’t be able to see you close friends and family?
Label what you’re feeling, acknowledge it and see what you can do about it in order to meet your needs.
Managing expectations
This holiday season is going to be different, whether we like it or not. We might not be able to celebrate the holiday with everyone that we normally see. We won’t be able to go boxing day shopping or shop at the Christmas market.
It sucks, and it’s okay to express your disappointment and frustration about this.
Part of acceptance is managing your expectations, as well as others’. This holiday might not be as exciting or eventful as previous ones - what exactly is different this year? How do these changes make you feel? Why do they make you feel that way? What are you going to miss? Being able to articulate these changes is part of expectation management and acceptance.
Focusing on what you can do
Once you’ve figured out what’s bothering you, try to push yourself to think about the positives that might come out of it.
This is definitely easier said than done, and it’s not applicable to everybody. For instance, if you are grieving and coping with the loss of someone, this would not be appropriate. I would highly recommend that you speak to a therapist to help you work through your grief.
It’s so easy for us to come up with a list of things that we are not allowed to do. But what about things that we can still do? Instead of focusing on what’s lacking, can you focus on what you can do and what’s within your control?
Without your calendar being packed with social events, you have more time on your hands. What can you do instead? Do you want to focus on self-care, or strengthening certain relationships? Do you want to focus on bonding with those within your household? What about leisure activities that you can do alone, or with your loved ones? Like wearing matching Christmas sweaters with your family, baking and making Christmas-themed dishes, or watching Christmas movies?
Checking in with others
If you are missing your loved ones because you are unable to celebrate with them this year, chances are they are also feeling the same way. Reach out to them and set up virtual meetings. If you used to have annual gatherings with your friends, you can still do that with everyone virtually. Have a celebratory meal together. Bake some desserts and drop them off to loved ones. This year could be less isolating if you use your creativity to compensate for the lack of social activities.
Wrapping up
At the end of the day, the holiday season is just another occasion for us to show our love and gratitude to loved ones. It doesn’t have to be memorable or remarkable. It’s totally fine to spend it doing nothing. It could be just another day.
But if you want to come up with something fun to do, I will talk about creating new traditions for this holiday in my next post, so stay tuned!
I wrote about managing the holiday stress last year. Some of the tips could still be applicable even though back then, COVID-19 did not exist. You can check it out here!
I also wrote about setting boundaries during the holiday season. Click here for the article!