As 2020 comes to an end (just 1 more day to go!), how are you doing?
Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed? Or are you excited about a fresh start.
What does the new year mean to you?
The new year doesn’t have to bear any significance. It might be the norm to send out “happy new year” messages to loved ones, but to many people, when the clock strikes 12, it just means that another day has come and gone.
For those of you who are more introspective and do feel the need to reflect on 2020, this article is for you. It is helpful to organize aspects of your life into different categories to help you with this process:
Write down what comes to mind with the following prompts. Feel free to refer to the different categories from above and see if they help jog your memory:
Significant moments in your life this year - Perhaps you have achieved certain milestones - whether in your career, personal life or relationships, any type of milestones is worth celebrating. Perhaps you’ve gone through something that’s life changing; perhaps you’ve learned valuable lessons. These are all significant moments in your life that contribute to who you are - remember them.
If you set goals for 2020, have you attempted to achieve them? - Only the effort counts! It was difficult to achieve goals this year with all the challenges, but if you tried, I’d say that’s a win. What were some of the obstacles that prevented you from achieving your goals? How did you attempt to work around them?
How have you changed this year, if at all? - Are they changes that you are happy about? If so, ask yourself what you did to facilitate those changes, and how to maintain them in the next year. Also take a look at the negative changes. I for one feel that I’ve been less patient with people around me, and it’s important for me to realize this in order to be more patient. Maybe you were less active this year, or you had difficulty sticking to a routine. Whatever the “negative” change is, the pandemic likely has something to do with it - so go easy on yourself. As I always say, part of being human is making mistakes. What matters is what you do with those mistakes.
What have you learned? - Whether it’s about yourself, our society, or the human mind, have you obtained new knowledge over the past year? Has the way you think changed?
Were there any achievements worth acknowledging? Have you made any progress? - List them all out!
How much have your actions reflected your values? - What was important to you at the beginning of last year, and are those things still important to you? It’s always interesting to look back and realize that what used to matter stops mattering. This is completely normal. Are you satisfied with the actions you took in the past year?
What do you like about your current self? - Don’t be shy, try to be honest and really focus on what you like about yourself.
What were some of the disappointments this year? - There were so many interruptions and obstacles in the past year - you are bound to feel disappointed about something. What were they? Make sure you allow yourself the space to process them.
If you documented some of your reflections at the end of 2019/ beginning of 2020, it is helpful to go over them and see what your 2019 self was like. Compare your 2019 self to your current self, how are the two similar and different?
Now, we might not like the outcome of 2020. We might feel worse after going through the above prompts.
2020 was a particularly difficult and challenging year to many – the fight against racism and navigating our own privileges, going through illnesses, losing loved ones, social isolation, significant changes in our lifestyle, anxiety about COVID-19, anger and frustration about our society, cancellations of significant life events, etc.
We’ve been challenged to lead a more sedentary lifestyle – not being able to go out freely, having to work from home – you might find that you have not been able to achieve your fitness goals, or other goals that you might have. Plans had to be changed or cancelled last minute. Life was disrupted. We’ve all been required to adapt - there was no other choice.
However, regardless of the outcome, you’ve survived (likely) one of the toughest years of your life.
You might feel discouraged. It’s easy to put the blame on ourselves. “I’m not strong enough to…; I didn’t have to foresight to … “
But please remember that you’ve done the best you can, you coped with problems the way you knew how to, and therefore, the fact that you are here today, still fighting, indicates a win. We might not be as hopeful as last January. We might be reluctant to make plans, knowing that things could change suddenly. It might even be scary to look forward.
It’s hard to envision what 2021 would look like. Maybe you no longer have the mental resources to set new goals or to envision a future, and that’s okay. Just because 2020 is over, it doesn't mean that the struggle and challenges are over. The grieving and adjustment continue.
So, if you’re tired of being positive and motivated, that’s okay. You don’t have to. And you are not alone for feeling that way.
This new year’s eve might be significantly different from the past. Do what you can to take care of yourself - honour your needs. If what you need is social connection, reach out to others. If you need to reduce the significance of this new year and not celebrate, do that.
Above all, stay safe.